Good morning to you all. Well to be honest with you, I am seriously wondering if it is a good morning. Despite my constant reminders, that the shopping list was by the Ming Vase near my front door, my hopeless butler went off without the list. So I went to the pantry this morning and there was not a kipper in sight. And I was so looking forward to enjoying them for breakfast with some hot buttered toast and some little grilled tomatoes. I had especially asked the butler not to forget the kippers, and I would have thought several reminders, plus a note by the door would prompt the silly man to remember them. I really don't know what I pay him for. It is certainly not for his excellent memory.
But it didn't stop there. He forgot to replace the silver polish for my stirling silver cutlery, and he left the hoover unemptied. I ask you. Does he really think I am going to get my best Laura Ashley dress covered in a cloud of dust emptying the hoover? And then he left with the keys to the Rolls in his pocket so I am stuck in my mansion until he returns tomorrow. He doesn't have anything sensible like a telephone and there is no way I am going to venture outside without my vehicle.
Yours despairingly,
Lady O
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Dear Lady,
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear of the problems you are having with the butler. How could the butler forget the kippers? It is really unforgivable, you know. However, you are simply too understanding, and to a fault, I'm must say. And, I simply don't understand why you would be vacuming in the first place. What ever has become of your servants? I do hope you are considering a change of staff.
Yours faithfully,
Lady Betsy
Hello dear Lady. So relieved to hear from you. I was so dreadfully worried. Yes you are right. I should of course immediately get rid of the man. As you can see from the photo, he has recently taken to wearing flowers from my garden on his head and I think he may be needing some medical intervention.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your good advice. I will consider this. Yours Lady O.
The butler's ears stick out, but that's a good thing, so he can easily hear commands from his mistress.
ReplyDeleteTa-ta for now.
Hello again, dear lady! I know you have always had tender feelings toward your butler - please don't deny it - however, you must not let that cloud your better judgment. It is true he is quite attractive, although the flowers he has taken to wearing on his head simply make him look daft, if you ask me, and, he is starting to show his age! To be perfectly honest, dear, I always wondered if you might be just a bit too familiar with him and be compromising your professional relationship with your staff - considering your husband is absent quite often, some people of breeding might wonder. I'm just thinking of your impeccable reputation, so please don't take offense. Yours, Lady B
ReplyDeleteDear Lady B, thank you for your concerns about my relationship with the Butler. Please be assured that everything is as it should be, except that my garden is being robbed of some gorgeous blooms by the silly man who continues to wear them on his head. I am not quite sure where you got the idea that I have tender feelings for the butler. It is Percival who seems to like the man and won't let me get rid of him. They seem to have a few interests in common. Dreadful business.
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